I have officially given up on Trillian. I don't talk to anybody on anything but AIM and Trillian has begun to lose my AIM messages.

Congress is busy making a mess of the Iraq issue. What people who are against war in Iraq should realize that the best way to avoid war is to make the consequences of continued defiance very dangerous and very clear to Sadam Hussein. If we say that we are unwilling to go to war Saddam will only get worse.

No Autozone within a 3 mile radius of my house has the part. If it wasn't for the fact that it isn't really my car, I am almost inclined to say, "Screw the car!"
Public transportation is a good thing.

The weather outside right now is insanely beautiful. It's the type of day that taunts you when you are inside looking out. I am on hold with the telephone clamped between my ear and shoulder, wondering what exactly the guy at Autozone could be doing, while slowly developing a cramp in my neck.

You know I just feel the quality of my writing has been down a little of late. You know what would be fun for the blogger set? A 'rate my blog post' feature would be cool because I could gauge the crowd response (from 4 people daily!) and adjust my writing to improve the reponse. The problem is that if you write to please an audience then you lose a lot. I feel that I write best when I write for myself. If I like than chances are others will too. (especially since my tastes are so middlebrow) Hollywood movies are a perfect example of the pitfalls of consumer input. When you want to accomplish something new democracy is bad. Dictatorship is good. If a lot of people try to impose their vision on a project, the ideas get muddled and only the most generic things survive. When you ask the average man has input on your work you can expect average results.
I have decided that I live a manifestly boring life. I need to do something other than teach and workout and sleep. Maybe I should curse at a student. It would be cheap entertainment and all the other teachers do it. According to the students, that is; judging by some of the kids behavior< I think I believe them. Restraining profanity from spewing from my lips when dealing with certain students has been difficult.

I took the train today.
School was interesting, the train got me there in surprisingly good time, and for once this week was not a major headache. Getting up in time was though. I ate two oranges for breakfast rather than spend the usual amount of time preparing something to eat. I was actually close enough to being on time that the lady in the office didn't lecture me for my lateness. The sad truth is that I have been on time for an assignment only once. Usually, as long as I arrive before class no one complains.
The one annoyance I had today, is that the assitant principal kept visiting my classroom as class was starting and I was reading roll. This is when the class is at it rowdiest, before I had a chance to calm the students down. It looked as if my classroom was always out of control. I don't mind him coming to visit, I just want don't want to look bad. I should probably take a firmer hand with the students.

My new favorite political blog.

Some stuff I forgot to mention because I was pissed about the car...
There's a dance being held at T.J. Rusk tomorrow and the kids keep trying to talk me into going. I immediately say that I won't go without a date and the kids immediately suggest that I go with a teacher. They always suggestone in particular whose classroom is directly across the hall from mine and appears to be fairly young (25-28) . They always say "That skinny white woman, Ms. Soandso, she's a fox!" I always smile because that is the best I can do towards a straight face without completely cracking up. Today one kid, named Michael, asked me plainly if had seen any teachers I liked, "So Mister, what do you think of our teachers? You seen any really hot yet? You should have been here last year to see Ms Ayala, she was HOT!" Kids say the darndest things.

Ughh. Somebody please kill Saddam now. Apparently, according to the article I just linked on Slate. Saddam has a wicked secret weapon that kills little kids with liver cancer.

You know next week I just might stay home and pull the covers over my head. Maybe if I get a job I'll just walk or ride the train, or maybe I need a new job :P

Once again I wussed out and didn't leave early enough to catch the train to school, so I drove. The results were a disaster :p
I didn't update from school today because the teacher left a note on the desk explaining in no uncertain terms that she wanted nobody using the computers - no students, no teachers, and definitely not this sub! Nonplussed, I went to the library at lunch to find access. It turns out that the library computers are prehistoric dinosaurs - like many of the computers in DISD - with no internet access! Oh the horror! There is one other place that had access in T.J. Rusk Middle School, room 203, tended by the amiable Mr. Morris. I didn't catch up with him till after school when he was locking up and I was getting ready to leave. (I thought) He was only too happy to give me access - tomorrow.
Since Ms. Eldridge, the teacher I am subbing for, didn't have any classes scheduled for the final 45 minutes of school, the school administrators bade me depart and enjoy my evening. Knowing my car wouldn't start without a good electric shock, I asked the lady at the front desk if anyone could give me a jump. She called the janitor and he obliged. He rolled his cherry red classic automobile over to my cheap '87 Camry and fried both of our batteries. (He was able to drive off though) The instant I clamped the positive terminal to the jumper cables it set fire to the contacts of the batteries, melting my battery's positve terminal and leaving a scorch mark on the body of the car where I had clamped the negative clamp of the jumper cables.
I realized that by know my battery was a lost cause. The contact on the positive terminal was now a charred scrap of metal with a bolt in it. I called my mom and she dispatched my brother to deliver a new battery and contact. After about an hour of driving by and through and under some of the most fearsome traffic in the Dallas area, Nosa exited on Mockingbird lane and turned left into the beautiful old money neighborhoods of Univerty Park. This would usually be a good thing as University Park is very scenic, unfortunately Inwood Road is to the right off the Tollway on Mockingbird. So around, 5:30 or 6. after stopping at a nearby elementary school on Inwood to look for me, Nosa rolls up in his shiny champagne colored '89 BMW (no, I am not jealous, I swear!) and delivers the new parts. The contact doesn't fit right and the battery is a little big but we try anyway. No juice. :( We quickly discovered that the 80 amp fuse on the positive terminal had been burnt by the impromptu barbecue the janitor and I had held earlier. So we stripped the car of is it valuables - took all of 30 seconds - to prevent theft and went home.

Dude, I feel your pain! It's tough being young and conservative.

Random weird blog of the night! This couple needs to chill, really. (The truth is that I am just jealous!)

I have to ask what the men mentioned in the article were thinking? Hey, lets go visit a murderer and plead to negotiate with him, look like buffoons and get sympathy from other bleeding heart liberals like ourselves!

Competing review blogs. Cool.
I had a weird prescient dream again last night. I mention it now because it seemed as if something was working to make it come true. I saw my friend Marcela (she's my friend who likes her venus) and her roommate Crystal under a marquee. I was across the street about to go into a storefront that housed a club or bar and they wanted to come too - which they shouldn't since they are both sweet and mostly innocent church girls. I walked in and they started too only to be confronted by the Assistant Pastor of my church. What he was doing there at a night club I am not sure. I felt that I should mention this dream because tonight who should I see in church but Marcela and Crystal! The dream didn't come true and isn't likely to come true since Crystal is moving to New Hampshire and Marcela is moving back in with her family here in Dallas. If it does come true, I want it documented here.

Would someone using Internet Explorer 4 be kind and email me?

I have seen the bad things in Netscape 4.X browsers. I need to see the bad things in Internet Explorer 4.X browsers again. I am very distressed that I should have spent so much time getting my layout right and then find out that it is still not working quite right. Code wise I am going to change a lot but the page should be essentially the same visually as much as possible between versions. I might try to get by with less Javascript though. Maybe use some noscript tags. Anybody trying to edit a website to look good in across browsers would probably be interested in this.

I am the only person in a computer literacy class using a computer... Something is wrong!

I am teaching today at T.J. Rusk Middle School in the Bachman Lake area of Dallas near Love Field. I am teaching a computer literacy class in which kids are not allowed to touch the computers! Go figure... Something deep within me instinctively rebels at the policy of this class. The children are well-behaved though. The teacher I am subbing for has a reputation as someone who I don't want to trifle with, which probably explains why the children are so quiet - they're terrified.
I spent all day yesterday fixing my car. The alternator belt had snapped the night before and in the morning as I was driving to my next sub assignment the radio began to blink on and off until finally the car died quietly and rolled to a stop on the shoulder of the road right at the Tollway South exit on 635. Fortunately cars are not like people and they can be resurrected after they die - especially since we kill them almost everyday. My Dad went to Auto Zone and got a loaner battery for me and Nosa (my brother) and I drove out to pick it up. The car started right up as soon as we put the battery in and we drove it to Autozone. The helpful store employee immediately noticed that the belt was gone and I used the refund from the loaner battery to replace the belt. THis part should have been easy but since this is my life and not a story from somebody else's life it was not. The alternator had a bolt we needed to loosen that had been worn almost completely round. No amount of profanity and elbowgrease could loosen it using the adjustable wrench I had brought with me. Chris, the store employee, and I struggled futilely for the better part of an hour. Finally, another store employee came out and removed the bolt in 30 seconds using the same tools we had been using. Replacing the belt from here was easy or should have been. As soon as we got the belt on, adjusted the tension correctly, and replaced the worn out bolts, I charged the battery and tried to leave. The car began to shake, smoke, and screech. I started to just drive home and ignore the problem but good sense prevailed over sheer exasperation. Chris had left by this time but I popped the hood anyway and begged a store employee to tell me what was wrong. He immediately diagnosed the problem as a bad air conditioning compressor. AC compressors cost around $200 to replace with around $500 dollars in labor; but since I could do without the AC he recommended just getting a shorter belt and removing the old AC compressor. I could do this myself he said; but who should I see outside of the Autozone? My new friend Chris! Chris and I rattled back to my house and wrestled the compressor out of the guts of the old Camry and replaced the belts once more using my Dad's shiny new ratchet set - something we could have really used about an hour before. I took Chris back to his apartment with the promise to get in touch in the future. So I spent a grand total of $20 dollars (Dad's money) that day fixing my car, could have been worse, but I also lost $70 dollars of income by not going to my sub assignment. Public transportation looks really good right now.

I just looked at the blog in Netscape 4.7 and I must admit that it looks awful. Who do I blame? Netscape of course. :)

Another link from the Shack. This has the potential to be very cool and very powerful. Decentralized, super-resilient world wide networking using peer to peer techniques. It also has the potential to get lobbied to hell by Hollywood.

Are games overpriced? Link stolen from Shacknews.
I was reading Scary Duck today, and I realized that my blog cannot be like his. The emphasis in my blog is on the now.The past is only relevant when it illuminates the present.

By the way, my apologies to anyone reading this blog on Internet Explorer 4 or earlier. I think it should look ok on Internet Explorer 5, 5.5, 6, later versions of Netscape, Mozilla and Opera; but I recently saw it on a computer with Internet Explorer 4 and it was awful. I am not sure how to go about fixing that either since I don't have access to any computer with IE 4 installed on a regular basis. I already use a bit of Javascript trickery to make it work on certain browsers but I think that IE 4 doesn't support the version of Javascript I need. It is going to take a clever bit of coding to fix this. All I have to do is find the energy to fix it. :(

The most striking thing to me about political discourse in Amerca is the villification of people who differ ideologically from the speaker's postion. Not only are you right, but everyone else is the enemy of all that is good and holy and or a cretin because they don't agree. The amount of distrust peopIe have for those that disagree is staggering. I can't imagine that rational people differ much from me but I realize that political ideology and religion are a function of upbringing and environment. In fact, I believe one's profession has a large impact on both. I am a republican and I admit the republican party is the party of power and privilege. You are a Republican if you feel you have built something (or will build something) you need to protect. Democrats are crusading to better society by fighting seeming injustice in the world.
What shocks me in religion and politics, is how radical and ill-considered many people's postitions are. Paranoia, and ignance dominate the average persons view of politics, so honestly I disregard most non-professional political discourse. What disturbs, but does not surprise me, is the cynical way people in politics use ignorance and paranoia to advance their postions. I am glad the average person doesn't get much involved, because the average person knows bloody nothing about politics and usually gets cleverly manipulated by powerful people to advance their secret agendas.
In spite of it all, I like the fact that we have an adversarial system. I think centrism is dangerous and unproductive. Relentless centrism in France nearly resulted in the election of a radical bigot. Centrism kills enthusiasm and muddies the political waters. Why does it matter who you vote for when the candidates are both racing to the center, and in effect screaming, "Elect me or my twin in the other pary!" Politics in America is in need of a few radicals to polarize the discussion. By pushing, everybody to the fringes and outraging the populace, radicals make room for a new leader to galvanize and unite the public by coming back to the newly opened center. America is an adversarial system and itis important that the political parties remain adversaries. Agreement simply wouldn't do. America arrives in the middle by allowing each side to push against one another. Hence, the American penchant for electing a house and senate opposed to the president.
The upshot of having an adversarial system that the only people who are involved in politics in anything approaching a knowledgeable or reasonable manner are the people with strong ideologies or interests- the very liberal, the very conservative, the very old, and the very weird. Nobody else beleves strongly enough to care. The solution is to introduce a few radicals into the scene. People will either get very pissed off and vote or develop some crazy ideas of their own and take to the streets to proselytize others. A net gain either way. Gridlock and partisanship is a good thing, believe me!

The entertainment industry is a tool of Satan. The gist of the article is that Hollywood intends to use copyright law as a legal bludgeon to amass wealth for itself and deprive the public domain of necessary new material.

I just got an email from the guy who updates the imakecontent blog. Cool guy (he responds to email!) and he received second place (and a cool hundred pounds) in the "Best British Blog" contest.

I knew as soon as I put a full tank of gas in that stupid car, that it would die. Silly thing, I think the automobile world has conspired against me to keep me in old decrpit cars that consume my time, gas, and money. If this wasn't a PG-13 blog I would curse cars and that cars in general roundly.

How do teachers live on such tiny lunches? Most of the female teachers I see carry tiny lunches in neatly packaged tupperware. A lot of the male teachers just eat the cafeteria food - greasy hamburgers, pizza, etc. I am teaching today at Raul Quintanilla Sr Middle School, a bright, shiny, new middle school in a middle class part of Oak Cliff. (Middle class neighbiorhoods in Oak Cliff!) The teacher I am subbing for, Ms. Mogilniki , (I am certain that I misspelled her name) wrote a note saying that I was teaching a special group of students; and they are. I have never taught a class as quiet as the first period was. The second period class was a little rambunctious and a fire drill interrupted class, but thus far has been mostly uneventful. The only thing that happened to day is that a girl in class noticed that my nails had been polished. I had a manicure before the modeling work, because I had been told that it was a good thing to do before a shoot.

I just realized something about how the substitute system works in DISD - teachers must have a deadline on illness absences of 10:30 of the night before. So they delay calling until the last second and since the system only calls out untl 10:30 none of the jobs get assigned until the next morning. DOH! That's why I have to call in to get work.

My biggest dilemma with employment right now is my need for short term employment to finance my pursuit of more lucrative long term employment. Over the sumer, I realized that it was imperative that I have a job while I was looking for long-term employment. The problem with substitute teaching is that the amount of preparation required before cashing in. It took a month of paperwork before I could work and now I must wait a month for my first paycheck. The only reason I can afford the delay is that I live with my parents. If I was renting an apartment I would be working at McDonald's.
My other problem is maintaining the drive and focus I need to continue pursuing a better job. All my friends who were previously unemployed have since found well-paid entry-level positions. Definitely not at the ridiculous dot com levels but still respectable considering the low cost fo living in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I am so anxious to not oversell my skills that I suspect that I dangerously handicap my job search. Not only that, but I am so frsutrated with the availability of jobs in the tech sector that I often fail to find and follow through on job leads.
Maybe I'll just go back to school. :|

I need a new employment strategy. I'll make decent but not great money substitute teaching. I enjoy it immensely because it fits my character. I get to hang out with teenagers and essentially babysit most of the time since the teachers don't trust me to actually teach. $70/day for a high school assignment (8 AM to 3:45 PM) works out to a little less than $10/hr. With my diploma it will be right at $10/hr. Time for church! More later..,