5.04.2005
Saddam's lobbyist is dead
Edward von Kloberg III used to do some lobbying work for the world's leading despots including yours and my favorite dictator, Saddam Hussein. He leaped to his death from a window in a castle in Europe.
5.01.2005
You might be a POG
Civilians tend to think everybody in the military leads a rough life and spread their sympathy accordingly. I am here to tell you that nothing could be further from the truth. The military can easily be separated into two groups of people: "grunts" and "pogs". Grunts hate pogs and pogs despise grunts. Grunts think that pogs are silly and weak; pogs think that grunts stupid and brutish. Neither group is entirely right.
Grunts lead lives that lend credence to the quote by Thomas Hobbes:
Pogs exist to make the grunt's job possible. Pogs ferry supplies, provide medical care, handle communications - just about everything other than shooting people. Pogs live in comparative luxury and safety. Pogs will often wear civilian clothes in a combat zone; or at the other extreme, will enforce strict military disciplines normally reserved for garrison like the ironing of uniforms or organized physical training. (We don't dare gather for organized PT here. If a mortar were to strike at the instant we chose to do PT an entire platoon could be disabled. If that were to happen to the medics who would treat us?) Pogs have no conception of what real combat is. Pogs are necessary but often annoying to the grunt.
Pogs dominate the military. In fact, there are entire branches of the service filled with nothing but pogs - like the Air Force or Navy for instance. It's hard to be a grunt from the safety of an aircraft carrier or an air base. Pogs should be happy with what they are, they are the true face of the modern military. For whatever reason, pogs don't like to acknowledge what they are and their purpose in life. I am going to help them. The following is a set of warning signs to let the reader know if he/she is a pog. (Good chances are if the reader is a "she" she's a pog. It's not prejudice, females aren't allowed in combat... Yet.)
You might be a pog if you never leave the front gate. You might be a pog if you've been using porcelain toilets the past year. (The world is a grunt's toilet) You might be a pog if you take a hot shower every day. You might be a pog if you have a Combat Infantry Badge or a Combat Medical Badge sewn on when you haven't left Iraq yet.(Combat Infantry Badge, abbreviated CIB, is the badge that infantry men wear when they have seen combat, been shot at. The Combat Medical Badge, abbreviated CMB, is what medics wear when they provide treatment under fire. Other MOS's should get their own badges.) You might be a pog if you actually live within walking distance of a tailor shop. You might be a pog if you are neither a medic or an infantry man and you have a CIB/CMB sewn on. You might be a pog if you really care that much about the wearing the badge in the first place. You might be a pog if you eat catered meals in an air conditioned tent everyday. You are a pog if you iron your uniform in Iraq. (Sorry, but you are.) You are a pog if you have never had a bloodstain on your uniform. You are a pog if you never get dirty. (Even our Battalion Commander gets dirty out here.) You might be a pog if you are not suffering from combat stress. You might be a pog if you actually go to therapy for your combat stress. (Grunts like to think of themselves as strong silent types.) You might be a pog if this post offends you. In fact, you might be a pog if you are reading this - grunts only get online to check email and look at half naked women.
*Disclaimer: Pogs are great people who handle a million different things and make the military go; their only problem is that they think they are grunts. I only seek to promote greater understanding between the two factions.
Grunts lead lives that lend credence to the quote by Thomas Hobbes:
The life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.Grunts generally hold combat MOS's (Military Occupational Specialty) and tend to absorb the majority of casualties. Usually grunts are infantry. I have lived with grunts and have been an honorary grunt for a while. Being a grunt sucks. No, you simply don't understand, being a grunt sucks. Grunts stink, fart, curse, tell inappropriate sexual jokes, and did I mention they stink? There is a reason for the smell and the cursing - life as a grunt can be unbelievably hard. Grunts have an incredible capacity for suffering. Grunts will go without food, sleep, and water for hours. I have personally known grunts who were unable to shower for three months due to their living conditions. Grunts improvise - grunts don't need toilet paper, they'll wipe with strips cut from their t-shirts; grunts can fix anything with duct tape and a pocket knife; grunts make modern war possible.
Pogs exist to make the grunt's job possible. Pogs ferry supplies, provide medical care, handle communications - just about everything other than shooting people. Pogs live in comparative luxury and safety. Pogs will often wear civilian clothes in a combat zone; or at the other extreme, will enforce strict military disciplines normally reserved for garrison like the ironing of uniforms or organized physical training. (We don't dare gather for organized PT here. If a mortar were to strike at the instant we chose to do PT an entire platoon could be disabled. If that were to happen to the medics who would treat us?) Pogs have no conception of what real combat is. Pogs are necessary but often annoying to the grunt.
Pogs dominate the military. In fact, there are entire branches of the service filled with nothing but pogs - like the Air Force or Navy for instance. It's hard to be a grunt from the safety of an aircraft carrier or an air base. Pogs should be happy with what they are, they are the true face of the modern military. For whatever reason, pogs don't like to acknowledge what they are and their purpose in life. I am going to help them. The following is a set of warning signs to let the reader know if he/she is a pog. (Good chances are if the reader is a "she" she's a pog. It's not prejudice, females aren't allowed in combat... Yet.)
You might be a pog if you never leave the front gate. You might be a pog if you've been using porcelain toilets the past year. (The world is a grunt's toilet) You might be a pog if you take a hot shower every day. You might be a pog if you have a Combat Infantry Badge or a Combat Medical Badge sewn on when you haven't left Iraq yet.(Combat Infantry Badge, abbreviated CIB, is the badge that infantry men wear when they have seen combat, been shot at. The Combat Medical Badge, abbreviated CMB, is what medics wear when they provide treatment under fire. Other MOS's should get their own badges.) You might be a pog if you actually live within walking distance of a tailor shop. You might be a pog if you are neither a medic or an infantry man and you have a CIB/CMB sewn on. You might be a pog if you really care that much about the wearing the badge in the first place. You might be a pog if you eat catered meals in an air conditioned tent everyday. You are a pog if you iron your uniform in Iraq. (Sorry, but you are.) You are a pog if you have never had a bloodstain on your uniform. You are a pog if you never get dirty. (Even our Battalion Commander gets dirty out here.) You might be a pog if you are not suffering from combat stress. You might be a pog if you actually go to therapy for your combat stress. (Grunts like to think of themselves as strong silent types.) You might be a pog if this post offends you. In fact, you might be a pog if you are reading this - grunts only get online to check email and look at half naked women.
*Disclaimer: Pogs are great people who handle a million different things and make the military go; their only problem is that they think they are grunts. I only seek to promote greater understanding between the two factions.
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