en·nui Pronunciation Key (n-w, nw)
n.
Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest; boredom: “The servants relieved their ennui with gambling and gossip about their masters” (John Barth).


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[French, from Old French enui, from ennuyer, to annoy, bore. See annoy.]

Ennui is one of the many demons I fight. Why am I not motivated? So what I wasn't born to wealth and power, I don't need those things to get where I am going. All I have to be is motivated. I don't have to be intelligent, handsome, tall, or anything - just motivated. Why can't I bring the same desperate desire to succeed that I had in soccer and every sport I play to the rest of my life?
Why do I lose almost every game I play in regardless of my ability relative to the competition? Why does it not matter that I want to win more than anyone else? Why am I always saddled by teammates who are inept, clumsy, and uncaring? Why is it that when I have teammates who care and are able I am not allowed to be a part of their success? Why?