How Do People muster the Creativity to Create Endless streams of headline titles?

I am overly fond of ironic headline titles and subject lines that are not really titles or subjects.
I am at work and I am in a tie and I am teaching mathematics. The teacher I am subbing for is a discplinarian so the kids are fairly well behaved and probably love me to death since I am not nearly as strict.
Jeez, when is lunch going to come? I find that I become more priitive all the time, and I am more concerned with my elemental needs - you know food, sleep, sex, etc. I find that nearly everything I need is in short supply so I have little time to think about more complex motivations. I am not starving, but I am hungry; I am not exhausted, but I am a little fatigued; and I also don't have enough time (bell just rang) to consider my other "Maslow" needs so I my audience will have to miss out on my clever description of my non-existent love life.