Home Again

Who was it that said you can never go home again? Thinking about it now, even though I have returned to the location I call home I have not and cannot return to the place. Home is more than a location - it's a place, a time, and a feeling. Those things can never be fully recaptured. The people who made the home have dispersed and changed and so one can never return to his home again. I realize now that I am an adult - I must be an adult because I have no childhood left me. Everything is serious business now. I am in the business of killing people in defense of my country. Yes, I am a medic and my obvious purpose is to begin step one of the healing process, but only so that they can go and wreak havoc on the bodies of others. No children here.
Even my family has grown up. My sister has her own car, goes to college; My youngest brother just hit puberty and has grown leaps and bounds since I saw him last; and my middle brother is beginning to think about life after college. The location hasn't changed, the house is the same, Dallas is still familiar, but it isn't the home I knew as a child. I can feel time slowly sliding by, it's scary and strange and powerful. I am feeling a distinct urge to maximize every moment, to cram in everything I can to every second of the day. I think I'll start with sleep though. I am bushed.