Investigating Myself

Every time I come back to Dallas, I feel as I am investigating my past life. Evidence that I lived before the Army is quickly disappearing. I came home and I spent 3 hours looking for people I want to hang out with in Dallas. The list is depressingly short. I am beginning to think that is very little reason for me to come back to Dallas anymore. I think I will see the world after all, what is the use of coming home too see friends when there are no friends left to see?
I find that I am a user and a loser. I hang out with people I don't necessarily like because they are useful. I also tend to lose contact of even the people I really like. So I use friends and then I lose them. Sad...
I feel as if I had something profound and sad to say about loneliness and lost childhood, but the words have slipped my mind and the feeling remains. If my friends were to read this they might think I don't value their friendship, but the opposite is true. I am puzzled and disappointed that I don't hear from them daily, I long for communiques from people I haven't heard from. I covet their time. I don't know why but when I travel thousands of miles and cross eight time zones, I feel good when people drop everything there doing to spend time with me.

A funny link to lighten a heavy post.