Where was I? I think I had just left off with the car. I also want:
- A Tablet PC that can play DVD's and burn CD's. Everybody else has them! I just want to have the same things as all the cool kids.
- Bi-pod legs compatible with a picatinny rail system. My platoon sergeant just got some and they are super cool. You never have to use a sandbag to support your M4 at qualifying again. Of course I would also need an M4.
- My own domain name. You can't be hip unless you have you own your-name.com . All the cool kids have this I swear.
- The Rosetta Stone Arabic Level 1 Language Program. I can't be an international super spy until I have mastered a difficult foreign language and Arabic is the language of the month at Oprah's linguist club.
- 100 pounds of Ramen Noodles. I am hungry.
- 100 pounds of spiced Beef Jerky. I am very hungry.
- A new wardrobe in case I come home on leave. If I come home right now I will be forced to spend the entire time in a nudist colony.
- A weight bench. I recently benched 245 lbs. - the most I have ever lifted in my life - but we lost our weight bench. I stay in shape by doing calisthenics in the wee hours of the morning when I am pulling guard.
- Summer desert combat boots. Supply mistakenly gave me two sets of winter boots and I can't wear one pair because they are too small.
- Final Draft 7 screen writing software. Instead of selling the movie rights to Warner Bros. I am going to write and direct the compelling story of my adventures in Iraq myself.
- World Peace.
Merry Christmas!
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