I am desperately in need of purpose and direction in my life. I need an overriding career goal. When I started college I believed that a degree in computer science would get me a job and thus provide de facto direction in my life. I was wrong. In fact, I have known that a degree in computer science does not do that since my sophomore year and my first job as an intern. Companies are no longer hiring people based on the flimsy weight of education credentials. During the Dot Com Bubble they had little choice really, but now in the Dot Con Crunch, I am getting the feeling that programmers will be just a step above mechanics on the employment food chain. What is worse a degree in computer science does not even qualify you as a programmer. It qualifies you to be a research assistant or a graduate student if your grades are decent.
I screwed up by not following through on my schooling with as much heart and desire as I should have. I have never been extremely enthusiastic about school but until college my (non) effort had been enough to score mostly A's. My Dad pushed me so I scored a 1300+ on my SAT because he wanted me to get into a top school - MIT. I nearly did I think. Had I progressed passed Algebra II in high school I might have made it. As it was I scored a 650 on the Math portion after re-teaching myself geometry and and struggling with basic algebra concepts. (I later recovered enough to score an A in Calculus I and a B+ in Calculus II but not before retaking each class once. Go figure.) With better prepaation I would likely have scored in the low 1400's. My highest verbal score was a 750. I had potential. I still have it. The question is what am I going to do with it?