Continued War Coverage!

I don't like watching the war on television. There is a surreal quality to watching explosions and realizing that unlike the movies, people actually die when you watch explosions on live television. Hearing the report of how the Iraqis executed several of our soldiers after taking them hostage nearly incited me to willful acts of violence. Only, I can't revenge myself against the perpetrators. War is a maddening thing and now it's closer to me than it has ever been before. Facing the reality of war is like staring at a horrible unblinking eye of death. I don't want to see but I can't look away and I keep getting closer and closer... Only when I get close I can see that the eye is really a gaping maw with curved, predatory teeth. Can't you imagine it - bloody gums and teeth dripping saliva, the remains of past victims, and present victims struggling to escape what cannot be escaped?
Did I ever mention that I have a vivid overactive imagination? I am sure that nothing can be as horrible as what I can conjure in my head and I am hoping that if I ever participate in combat that I'll be able to lose myself in the adrenalin rush and the chaos. I don't want time to think. I do however want time to sleep...