I've discovered that relative wealth is bad for my waist line. So, I suppose I am saying that I am like the vast majority of Americans who lead the globe in fatness despite the constant parade of beauty queens and body building muscle men on television. Even so, I am not fat, as many people are quick to remind me when I complain of needing to lose two inches on my waist. The difference between me and the average Joe is that I lose the inches so that grown women weep for joy when they gaze upon my chiseled frame. Many of my fellow Americans fear that if they don't lose weight that they will soon forget what their feet look like.
So getting back to the wealth angle, I've noted that I am usually thinner when I am poor. Before I joined the Army I weighed 175 pounds and sported a lean, hungry look. I actually was hungry - I often suspect that I joined the Army because my recruiter fed me every time she saw me. In Iraq, food was in short supply, and I spent a lot of time and energy scheming to acquire as much food as possible. I was so successful that I gained 20 pounds, but the austerity of the conditions there also made it easy to cut back and trim down to achieve that chiseled look. At one point, I am sure I was eating fifty dollars worth of canned tuna and protein bars a week.
Now that I am home, restraint has gone out the window. In fact, as I type this I am eating leftover roast beef from the Blackeyed Pea. Perhaps, when I leave the Army I'll stop drinking all that high calorie beer during weekends and start a poverty diet while I search for employment. It might be good for me. It will at least be lower calorie.
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