Sergeant Edokpayi

After two months of relentless paper-pushing I was promoted from the rank of Specialist to the rank of Sergeant. I've been anticipating this promotion my entire military career due to the fact that I have always been a Specialist. I won't go into the details of how I've suffered because PSB (Personnel Services Battalion I believe it stands for) lost my promotion paperwork. I won't even mention that PSB loses everybody's' promotion paperwork - which begs the question whose paperwork do they not lose? The obvious answer is their own. I will talk about the actual promotion ceremony.
The Army has a long standing tradition that when an enlisted soldier is promoted his superiors "pin" the rank on him in turns. (The "him" is doubly appropriate since I am willing to be that female soldiers don't undergo similar treatment for fear of discrimination or abuse charges) By "pin" I mean "pound" or "grind". What normally transpires is that the commander and the first sergeant remove the old rank and pin on the new as the XO reads the promotion orders. The command group will congratulate you and allow you to say a few words (or in my case, recite the NCO creed) and turn you over to the tender mercies of your colleagues. What happens next can be excruciating. Everyone who knows you and outranks you may then walk by and pin your rank on again. Pin-on rank has two sharp prongs that are meant to pierce the fabric of your uniform and are normally encased in "dammits". During promotion ceremonies NCO's use these prongs to pierce the flesh of younger NCO's. I have seen people leave with blood trailing down their uniforms.
I was planning to subvert the tradition by taping padding to my shoulders and collar bones where the damage is normally worst. I had made it through 95% of the ceremony with a few faux grimaces for the benefit of my audience when one of my fellow medics discovered my ruse. Gnashing of teeth followed immediately after. Those who had been cheated of their bloodletting returned for their rightful due. I stood and writhed with an occasional groan.
The best part is that I get to do it all again tomorrow morning.