Brain Rot

I think the Army is making me stupid. Really. I may be losing the capability for independent thought and simple reasoning capacity. I don't think my brain rot is the fault of my superiors. I think it is due to the level of entertainment available to the average soldier. Pornography and video games have minimal brain growth potential. It also doesn't help that soldiers massacre their brain cells with massive doses of alcohol. Do I even have to mention, the soldiers favorite playmate, the drinky girl? It isn't anybody's fault that I can pinpoint really. The things I mentioned are just what is popular.
The second thing I want to touch on is sexual harassment. Not that I am getting sexually harassed, with as few women as there are in 2ID I rather welcome any and all sexual advances - at the very least I can laugh about them later. The Army has recently had some unwanted publicity involving sexual harassment, but the issue isn't anywhere near as simple as the headlines might lead you to believe. For instance, I believe there are far more women misbehaving than men simply because men are confused and scared by the issue. Honestly, if any woman had been treated by a man the way women have treated me, they would have likely filed sexual harassment cases with the Inspector General already. Granted, since I am male I tend to think that it is wonderful that women take an intense enough interest in me to pat my buttocks and touch my genitalia. Women are more likely to be offended when someone actually does touch them inappropriately. The biggest problem I have seen in cases of alleged sexual misconduct in the military is that inconsistent behavior by the woman makes it difficult to prosecute. The heart of the matter is that military women engage in sexual activity and don't want to look like sluts when many are, in fact, sluts (I mean this in the most salutary and benign way possible). Men in the military should know better but most are testosterone driven individuals who aren't about to let a little thing like good sense get in the way of great sex. And there lies the rub.

Legalized Narcotics

You thought I was finished? When I write a political rant you can be sure I always have more to say. I just watched the movie "Traffic" on DVD and you know what pisses me off? It's all very well and good to criticize a government initiative as futile - i.e. the "War on Drugs" and the "War on Terrorism". Yet the critics answers as to what we should do instead border on ludicrous. The critics of the "War on Terror" suggest that we essentially just lay down and die. The critics of the "War on Drugs" suggest that we legalize narcotics.
Suppose for a minute that we did smoke crack and we were seriously considering legalizing popular controlled substances. Is there any realistic way the United States could effectively regulate production and sales? What are the unintended consequences? Alcohol and cigarettes are already legalized controlled substances sold in the United States and honestly the negative impact of both is significant. Are we prepared to treat the addicts if we allow cheap, easily available, and worst of all legal narcotics on the street? Who in good conscience sell these products? What are you thinking?

Why can't People See this?

Believe it or not, the fate of the free world hangs in the balance as we speak. Terrorism has touched our lives in ways we could never have imagined September 10th 2001. Terrorists have shown us that nothing is sacred and nothing is safe. Many have characterized the current situation as being "at war". Our enemy is amorphous and scattered. They have no formal chain of command - no head to cut off. The only intelligible communication they attempt to make is the language of violence - They open their mouths and mayhem pours out.
Given the situation, I amazed that their are people so foolish as to suggest we should capitulate to their demands. People who want to bring our troops back from Iraq, who want to blame the policies of the United States for inciting men to terrorism, who believe that there was no justification for military forces to attack Iraq, and who believe there is no reason for them to be there now. I'd like to ask: "What the f**k are you thinking?"
Whether are not Saddam Hussein had any connection with terrorists before his regime was toppled like so many stacks of so many cards, there are terrorists in Iraq now and they want us gone. What we are doing to them is effective. The US Army is hitting them where it hurts. Really. Leaving would allow them to declare victory just like they did in Mogadishu, Somalia. Leaving now would cost innocent lives (their is no more cliche phrase than the phrase "innocent lives" but well for lack of a better one) in the future. The election of a government in Spain that does not support the war in Iraq is dangerous. It's capitulation. People will die.
Why can't people see this?

Friday Night in the Barracks

I can't decide if I am socially inept or just lazy. When do normal people make plans to go out on Friday or Saturday nights? I make plans like 5 minutes before. Is there something wrong with that? I think my problem is due to irregular circadian rhythms. No really, just bear with me - I am most active around noon and late at night. When other people are busily planning their weekend activities I am struggling to stay awake. Around 2200 hrs when I am finally awake and raring to go everybody has already made their plans and left without me. That's my best guess anyway.
The truth is that I like to have a crew or really one very good friend with whom I hang out with all the time. Somebody smart and different - someone like me (only I am not that smart). I've been in country 4 months and I have yet to find a kindred spirit. This important too, a kindred spirit (mine at least) must be male since...
I'll finish this later my roommate just got back and I have to go out.

2nd Brigade Late Night Taxi Service

Have I ever mentioned what a huger sucker I am? I just got screwed like a prostitute at a bachelor party. My battalion just got back from the field and everybody is tired and badly in need of a day off. Our acting platoon sergeant needed someone to take brigade staff duty driver, a job which consists of shuttling an officer around base and running various errands for 24 hours. I volunteered, eager beaver-like. In return for helping out, my platoon sergeant offered me a day off while he remained in charge - two weeks. After filling me in on the details of what he needed from me he casually mentioned that no one should go to Seoul this weekend.
Of course, I discovered that the South Korean Parliament had voted to impeach President Roh (pronounced "Noh" incidentally) and because of the ensuing protests throughout South Korea, all soldiers were restricted from entering Seoul except for official business. Realizing that partying in Itaewon most likely was not official business, I could see my plans for a three day weekend in Seoul were most likely have to go on hold.
Meanwhile, the rest of 2nd ID was busily drinking like sailors on leave, or in this case like soldiers who just came back from nearly 30 days of field time. I was privileged to witness the carnage firsthand, since I had to shuttle drunken soldiers and their harried first sergeants back and forth from the MP station. At one point, I made three consecutive trips to the MP station to pick up various law breakers and one soldier who was stranded after she came home on leave. I started stopping and offering random people I saw on the road rides since it began to seem that they were all on their cell phones begging staff duty to pick their drunken selves up.
I am still a little annoyed, mostly since I've barely slept since then and I was awoken at 6:30 by a thunderous banging on my door. Yeah I think I am going to sleep since I am getting angry at the memory.

Sudden Insight

I had an epiphany while sitting in a tent in a field the other day. One has a lot of time to sit and think in the field, since when infantry soldiers aren't wreaking havoc or preparing to wreak havoc, infantry soldiers relax. It is a liberating concept and lifestyle. Getting back to my illuminating insight, I made an important self-discovery. I am sucker for a smart girl. No really! I could never date an unintelligent woman. Dumb girls leave me cold. Any time I think there is even the least spark of intelligence in a woman's eyes I am intrigued. I could be perfectly happy with smart girl with average looks. Wow... I can't believe I just said that. Maybe I should join MENSA to find a date. Not that they would accept me since I am as dumb as a brick.

Movement to Daylight

I just returned from the latest leg of 2ID's (2nd Infantry Division) field exercise, and we did something called a "movement to daylight". The idea is that instead of sleeping at night a rifle platoon stays up walking till the sun comes up or engaging the enemy. We did both. My platoon is populated by young American super men so we crushed the enemy everywhere we saw him. I am completely serious. One young man single-handedly destroyed 6 enemy tanks. Especially remarkable, since he is considered to be the weakest member of the platoon. Granted, he cannot even carry his weapon, the Javelin missile launcher, into battle; but once there he is deadly.
To be perfectly honest, I haven't been myself lately. I feel as if I have been ill since I set foot in Korea and my body is showing signs of wear and tear. Walking for eight hours in sub-freezing weather and not sleeping was a particularly cruel thing to do my body. My body returned the favor by giving me excruciating cramps in both my inner thighs. I was nearly completely debilitated since I could not extend my legs and thus could not rise off the ground. Believing myself to be dehydrated, I ripped my shirt off and administered an IV to myself with the help of three NCO's in my rifle platoon. After some consideration, I realized that dehydration wasn't likely since I'd been guzzling fluids all day. The pain was just from disuse and not stretching my muscles at all. Fun.

Dispatch From the Field

There are few things more fearsome or effective than an American soldier arrayed in full battle uniform, humanity obscured by various gadgets and weapons, vaguely futuristic in appearance, and bristling with anonymous malevolence. Living with the infantry in the field reveals that the soldiers behind the intimidating facade are barely more than teenagers. The younger soldiers' superiors, the non-commissioned officers, are usually sophomoric 20-somethings who derive enormous amounts entertainment from the antics of the 19 year olds they supervise. I estimate that 95% of infantry soldiers below the E-4 pay grade cannot drink legally in America. Even the senior enlisted soldiers tend to be in their early to mid-thirties or younger. I even lost some of my awe of the company XO when I realized he was younger than I was.
By no means does the youth of my colleagues make me feel superior in any way. I know next to nothing about the military, about the infantry, and especially medicine. Lately, I haven't even been able to initiate IV's, in my opinion one of the most important skills a medic needs to get the confidence of the soldiers he works with. I am really overwhelmed by the amount of responsibility given to me and how little I really know about what I am doing.
I had fun getting dirty with the "Joes" this field problem. I even participated in several raids, much to the discomfort of a nearby aviation brigade. I test fired a 50 caliber machine gun before a mission that involved loading the gun on the back of a civilian cargo truck and unleashing the weapon "A-Team" style on the hapless gate guards. I assure you that the expressions on their faces were priceless.
I am going to cut this post short as I need to clean my gear and sleep.

What Do I want to Be When I Grow Up?

I was standing in line behind a captain who happened to be an Army helicopter pilot. We struck up a conversation about his job and he gave me some career advice. The incident made me think. I will be a citizen soon and thus eligible for a wide range of opportunities in the Army. I could go to Ranger school, Special Forces Selection, Officer Candidate School, Green to Gold (commissioned officer program for college grads), or Warrant Officer School. I am eligible for a security clearance so I could conceivable get involved in the intelligence community. Really, I could do almost anything. The two most compelling choices to me seem to be Green to Gold (most likely resulting in becoming an infantry officer), and Warrant Officer School to become a helicopter pilot. Being a helicopter pilot seems like it would be the most fun, but being an Infantry officer is most likely to advance me to other things I want to do.
So what do I want to be when I grow up?

Searching for Something

There is a song, a fragment of which keeps repeating in my head because it strikes a chord within me:
"All my life I've been searching for something..." The song continues: "...Done, done and on to the next one! Done, done and on to the next one!" It's silly how powerful those words are to me. I have a goal. I know that. I have a dream. I have a plan. Sometimes, though I feel like I am looking for something and I don't quite know what. I have lots of intermediate goals, big plans, important things I want do with my life. Yet if you asked me what is the single most important thing I want to do "when I grow up", the only thing I could tell you is "Succeed!" The thing that gives me focus, the thing that keeps me awake at night in bed, that thing which gives me the drive to succeed, is that I know I must.
So I am "done, done and on to the next one!"

I am never Looking

How did Janet Jackson flash her breasts on television and get away with it? How did I miss this event? Easy, I never watch the Super Bowl. Before, I was usually at church, and now I wasn't interested in either team. It's ok though. I am sure enough innocent 6 yr olds were watching to make up for me not seeing it.
What have I been doing lately? I am not sure, but whatever it was has been important enough to keep me off the internet.

Call me Doc

That's what my line company calls me. I think I like it. I may or may not deserve it, but they think I do and I am disinclined to argue. Being a line medic for an infantry platoon is everything I thought it would be and I am pleased I got the chance. I do admit to spending a lot of time laughing at the "joes" I serve; but they laugh too so I am really laughing with them.
I don't know were to start describing my week. I spent the majority of the week covering A Co.'s squad competition and I actually participated in many of the events. When they marched I marched. When they shot, I shot. When they wrestled, I stood to the side and giggled like a school girl. (I am medic because I am prudent. I long ago decided that my brains were a better asset than my brawn) When they did pugil bouts I again stood to the side, but this time I cringed. Pugil bouts are kind of like boxing but with pugil sticks - approximately rifle length padded sticks. Despite the pads, pugil bouts tend to draw a lot of blood. At least they do when you have men with inhuman blood lust in their hearts beating each other like rented mules. The officers and senior NCO's officiated and laughed at the antics of the junior enlisted men battling like gladiators in a ring constructed of plywood, rope, and sandbags. I did my best to deal with the wounded. I try to make the joes think I know what I am talking about. At the same time, I am usually desperately consulting the other medics about what I should do next. It makes my job interesting.

Whoa...

I am doing something wrong. This query brings up my blog: "my brother walked in on me shaving pubic".

Something Undeniably clever but now forgotten

One day I will learn and overcome Blogger's habit of losing posts. Until then I will suffer the ignominy of writing posts twice. Damn Blogger...
I just got back from a two day field problem which was as I am told it always is in Korea this time of year. I would like to thank God that I am a medic because my job was to sit in a warm FLA (Field Line Ambulance) and treat soldiers for cold weather injuries, rather than run around in the weather and develop cold weather injuries.
I have no stories about soldiers enthusiastically trading body fluids this week so I will leave you with this, a forwarded email I found in my inbox this morning. Once again I would like to thank all those people out in Georgia for the following material. (I love North Carolina and Kansas too but I haven't heard from them in a while.)

From: Jane Doe
To: Idahosa Edokpayi
Cc: Janet Doe
Subject: FW: MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THIS SATURDAY ... Important Date



MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THIS SATURDAY

AS YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW, IT IS A SIN FOR A TALIBAN MALE TO SEE ANY WOMAN
OTHER THAN HIS WIFE NAKED, AND THAT HE MUST COMMIT SUICIDE IF HE DOES.

SO THIS SATURDAY AT 4 P.M. EASTERN TIME ALL AMERICAN WOMEN ARE ASKED TO WALK
OUT OF THEIR HOUSE COMPLETELY NAKED TO HELP WEED OUT ANY NEIGHBORHOOD
TERRORISTS.

CIRCLING YOUR BLOCK FOR ONE HOUR IS RECOMMENDED FOR THIS ANTI-TERRORIST
EFFORT.

ALL MEN ARE TO POSITION THEMSELVES IN LAWN CHAIRS IN FRONT OF THEIR HOUSE TO
PROVE THEY ARE NOT TALIBAN, AND TO DEMONSTRATE THAT THEY THINK ITS OKAY TO
SEE NUDE WOMEN OTHER THAN THEIR WIFE AND TO SHOW SUPPORT FOR ALL AMERICAN
WOMEN.

AND SINCE THE TALIBAN ALSO DOES NOT APPROVE OF ALCOHOL, A COLD 6-PACK AT
YOUR SIDE IS FURTHER PROOF OF YOUR ANTI-TALIBAN SENTIMENT.

THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT APPRECIATES YOUR EFFORTS TO ROOT OUT TERRORISTS AND
APPLAUDS YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS ANTI-TERRORIST ACTIVITY.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

IT IS YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO PASS THIS ON.

God Bless America indeed.

Just for kicks, here's the story of a former Royal Marine hiking through Britain in the nude.

Negative Twenty-two degrees Farenheit

The most important thing you need to know about my day is the temperature. It was low. I was out and about in the elements regardless, because I am a soldier. "Soldier" is a noun describing and individual who is too stupid to get inside out of the weather. Soldier's choose places with the most inhospitable weather conditions possible to shoot and kill people they don't know, in places they don't who, where people speak languages the soldiers don't know.
The wind chill factor this morning was such that our company commander (hereafter referred to as the CO) took pity on us and instructed the platoons to conduct PT indoors and run later in the afternoon. The medical platoon did and I did not see anybody else doing it. Why am I always the one who HAS to do the right thing? Gotta go!

Have You ever wished you had a Bible Handy?

There's a verse in the Bible about knowing to do good and not doing it being a sin. Something like, "He who knoweth to do good and doth it not sins". Those words haunt me every day. I wonder often whether I really know good or not. What is wrong and what is right and blah blah blah blah. I wonder often whether the uncertainty is just an excuse. If you don't know how can anyone expect you to do anything? Morals are funny things, you know. If I could just get rid of the damn things maybe I could enjoy life.
And you know what I hate in blogs? People waxing philosophical in their blogs. What did I just do? Wax philosophical! I got freaking existential and all that jazz. One might think I am a tortured soUL from reading that stuff.
Hey, on a lighter note, I am always happy when I get mail from people who read the blog and I'd just like to give a shout out to all my folks in Georgia! How are ya?

4 Days Later...

So when I say to stay away from the "drinky" girls don't listen to me because I am an awful example. I am a hapless fool with a weakness for tall skinny Korean girls. I am not sure why, but there seems to be an abundance of them in Tongduchon. I can only survey the damages and weep. Luckily, I am not broke. These women have reduced the art of separating men from their money to a science. I think what does it to me is the fact that I feel sorry for the girls. I should feel sorry for myself. However, I must say that the sensation of having two tongues in either ear was new.
In other news, I managed to qualify with both the M9 and M4 this week. The sad thing is that should I ever have enemy targets within my effective range the situation will have gotten very BAD. The good news is that I will most likely hit what I shoot at.
To those who know me, I'd like to apologize for the constant references to movies I have been making lately. I have watched an enormous amount of footage in a short time and I really like movies. Even the title of this post is a reference to a movie by Danny Boyle.

Winter Wonderland

The title is a cliche but cliche's are useful. I am willing to be 5 dollars that you knew instantly what I was talking about. I would be shocked if there was a single English speaking American reading this page (you could stop there and the statement would still be true) who did not know that it is snowing where I am right now. The mountains near Camp Casey are beautiful in the snow, like a Hallmark card. I could go on, but we would all be embarassed.
You know, I had some important and meaningful to say but I am tired, I have hall cleanup duty, and my roommate and I still plan to watch "Ronin" tonight.

24/7

You don't often think about the Army being a 24/7 operation till your chain of command ask you to stay up 24 hours pulling CQ (Charge of Quarters) duty. It was all right though. I got a little reading in, studied some EFMB (Expert Field Medical Badge) material, and watched movies - awful movies. "28 Days Later" looked cool in the previews, always a bad sign you know, and someone from the Slate Movie Club just loved it; so of course I hated it. I don't think it was necessarily a bad movie, it just wasn't to my taste. The movie started off badly for me, I got anxious waiting for the dude to run into living people and I hated the ragged way he looked. I think the problem was that the movie was shot with British tastes in mind. The story takes place in London, the lead character speaks with a sometimes unintelligible British (I'd say cockney but I am not sure) accent, and the filmmaker was British (Danny Boyle, director of "Trainspotting".) If it had been an American movie the lead would have been brawny action-hero type or perhaps even a pretty girl. The violence would have been more spectacular and the colors brighter. I would have been entertained but most likely it would have destroyed everything the filmmaker was trying to achieve. The other movie I saw was "Time Machine" and really it was just a muddle. The action didn't do anything for me and I was wonder when Samantha Mumba was going to stop teasing us and either get naked or just cover up. I couldn't concentrate to watch the other movies so I'll reserve judgment.
If you want to cure somebody of hero worship I have just the pictures for you. Scary...
It's ironic that I'd see a headline about monkeys attacking children right after watching "28 Days Later".
I was trying to think of blogs to nominate for the Bloggies, when I realized that I don't read blogs anymore. Too time consuming.

Kuma Range

Today was the first time I have ever attempted to qualify on paper targets and I pray it was the last. I like pop-up targets and detest paper targets. I had a very bad day at the range. I won't go into it as my bedtime is fast approaching but I'll give you the stats. I needed to shoot 26 of 40. I hit 15 of 40 by my own very generous count. I am done now, my butt hurts from sitting down.